Hard Questions

UPDATE!!!  Our guys won their first series in a sweet.  I leave for Korea on Monday for the champions tournament   I found a church I've only been to once but I really like.  When I get a Thursday off, I'm going to go play beach volleyball.

Ok moving on....I wrote a letter to a friend of mine the a month or so ago and said this:

"There's a difference between guard your heart and build a castle around it. One is wisdom that only comes from the Lord and the other is a man-made structure designed to keep us from being hurt. But God makes beautiful things from ashes and broken pots."

And then I wrote this:

The more I look at it, the more I'm convinced that while I wrote it down it was truly the Lord speaking.  Mainly b/c it sounds so darn cool.

I wrote it b/c my lovely friend and I have often talked about the fear of jumping into something (a relationship usually).  It's interesting to sit back and process where that fear comes from (b/c it is fear, let's be honest).  Is it the fear of being hurt (duh!), the fear of walking outside the Lord's will (Well...), the fear that it's all too good to be true (ha!).....You're worried that at the end of the day, the bottom is going to fall out and you'll feel broken and disappointed.  We've felt that raw emotion and want nothing to do with it again.  The Bible tells us to "Guard your heart for everything you do comes from it" (NIV).  Personally, I've interpreted "guard" with "build giant castle with moat, a drawbridge and dragons" but that's just me.

It's hard to draw the line between guarding your heart and keeping others out.  I can't sit here and tell you what that line is but I do know that any luck of finding that line rests solely on my relationship with Christ.  Which is easy to say b/c I know that's the right answer.  It's the living it out thing that I have an issue with especially b/c I have the hardest time letting people in.  I can't even tell you exactly why.  Sure, I could throw up a few educated guesses....actually, off the top of my head it's b/c I just flat don't trust people (perhaps?? and that includes myself)...ah, thinking out loud on my blog.  Good times.

It's a balance between wisdom and courage.

Now, for various reasons, I'm really wondering where that line is.  How do you trust others when you don't trust yourself?  I really don't know where to go from here.