A Semi-Rollercoaster Life

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.  I've been here in Aussie-land (for you Americans, make sure you pronounce that Aussie like Ozzie) for a little over 3 months.  At times I feel like I'm settling in and then other times I feel like I have no clue what I've gotten myself into.

Today has been one of the harder days.  I'm 9,471 miles away from home and today I felt every single mile of it (15,241 kilometers for you Aussies).  My favorite aunt.....the one part of my crazy extended family that has been around my entire life is in the hospital.  What do you do with 9,471 miles and the information that you may lose a member of your family?  Go home would be the logical response but 4 total days of travel plus $4,000 just doesn't make it possible.  So I'm here attempting to process.  I stayed home from my Little League game to be by the iPad for Skype calls (the best going away present ever!).  Luckily I have some amazing friends back home (and some here, too) that have supported me this whole time.  They help me think through stuff when my emotions wipe out my logic (thank you!).

Life here consists of baseball, more baseball and some other things.  You think I'm kidding but I'm really not.  I work for baseball.  I watch baseball when the guys are out of town.  I hang out with baseball players.  I coach baseball (we won our first game today!!!).  For the most part, I'm not complaining.  I love the sport, the guys are cool and I love my kiddos.  I just need some non-baseball time and people.  Which is one reason I'm super excited to head to Sydney for Christmas.  I get to hang out with good friends who know nothing about baseball.  It's going to be lovely!  ;)

I have found a church....ok, well I've been to it once and I really like it (travel, sickness, baseball have prevented me from going back as of yet).  I plan on going back tomorrow night.  I want to go to a Friday YWAM worship time and see Stefani, a former YL leader from Kelso (crazy, I know!) but have yet to be available during that time.  Hopefully I can see her soon.

My relationship with Christ has been interesting.  It's a harder transition than I expected (obviously a false expectation) coming out of ministry into the sports world.  Maybe I just didn't think through what exactly the transition would look like.  It literally feels like a car crashing into a brick wall.  Coming from a world full of encouragement, support, and grace into a world with very little of any of those.......I honestly felt stuck in Jello.  Things are rebounding now a bit.  I'm starting to set up some accountability partners with people back home...people I can be honest with (struggles and all) and can talk Bible with.  I don't have anyone like that here.....yet.

It's not just the career change that makes it hard.  It's the change in cultures.  Sure they speak English here but it's soooooo different.  There are 3 things that stand out about this culture:  1) It's very much a gossip culture.  And no, that's not just b/c I work in a team environment, though that adds to it.  2)  It's very much a mocking culture.  Whole conversations happen where people are mocking another.  Sometimes it hard to find the line where things turn serious and become personal attacks.  3) The US culture has the underpinning Christian foundation, where the Aussie culture does not.  While it may be getting harder and harder in the US to be a Christian and express your faith in public, it is still way more acceptable than here.  Many native Aussies either have a negative experience with a church-based boarding school or just have zero exposure to anything God-related.  It's like seeing snow for the first time it's such an alien concept.

The title of this post is "A Semi-Rollercoaster Life".  Today has been a series of ups and down.  A win by my WSU Cougers in the Apple Cup (in OT no less!) was HUGE....only to be immediately brought down by texts from home regarding my aunt which resulted in not attending my Little League game.  Hard conversations followed until I got a couple phone calls about my team winning for the first time today!  I got a text from one of my kiddos and I called him and his brothers to hear all about it.  Then someone overlooking all of the above hurt more than expected.  To finish the night, the Heat won after dropped 3 straight.  Great to see them pull out the win.

I think you can see why today was a little rough and how emotionally I am just shot.

Thank you for your prayers and love.  I know some of you have asked for a mailing address and I'm not going to post it on a public site like this but please email/message/facebook if you would like it.  Please note that everything takes 2 weeks to get to me.  Don't send wood or seeds of any sort.  It will be easier to get through customs.

Oh, before I take off.  I went to South Korea with the team at the beginning of November.  Korea is a more reserved culture than Taiwan, Japan or China.  We didn't see the over the top desire to serve and provide as some others had experienced in previous visits to various Asian countries.  The standard Asian issue with female authority figures still rings true so it was fun navigating that.  We traveled enough around the city that I totally get what it means to be a tourist in a country you don't know---where you can't read signs or subway/bus maps.  Luckily there was always someone around who knew enough English to help us find our way.

Riverside Drive, downtown Perth

And a picture to leave you with.  I need to download more Korea pics so you all can see them.  I'll get there...soon, maybe tomorrow.  :)

Hard Questions

UPDATE!!!  Our guys won their first series in a sweet.  I leave for Korea on Monday for the champions tournament   I found a church I've only been to once but I really like.  When I get a Thursday off, I'm going to go play beach volleyball.

Ok moving on....I wrote a letter to a friend of mine the a month or so ago and said this:

"There's a difference between guard your heart and build a castle around it. One is wisdom that only comes from the Lord and the other is a man-made structure designed to keep us from being hurt. But God makes beautiful things from ashes and broken pots."

And then I wrote this:

The more I look at it, the more I'm convinced that while I wrote it down it was truly the Lord speaking.  Mainly b/c it sounds so darn cool.

I wrote it b/c my lovely friend and I have often talked about the fear of jumping into something (a relationship usually).  It's interesting to sit back and process where that fear comes from (b/c it is fear, let's be honest).  Is it the fear of being hurt (duh!), the fear of walking outside the Lord's will (Well...), the fear that it's all too good to be true (ha!).....You're worried that at the end of the day, the bottom is going to fall out and you'll feel broken and disappointed.  We've felt that raw emotion and want nothing to do with it again.  The Bible tells us to "Guard your heart for everything you do comes from it" (NIV).  Personally, I've interpreted "guard" with "build giant castle with moat, a drawbridge and dragons" but that's just me.

It's hard to draw the line between guarding your heart and keeping others out.  I can't sit here and tell you what that line is but I do know that any luck of finding that line rests solely on my relationship with Christ.  Which is easy to say b/c I know that's the right answer.  It's the living it out thing that I have an issue with especially b/c I have the hardest time letting people in.  I can't even tell you exactly why.  Sure, I could throw up a few educated guesses....actually, off the top of my head it's b/c I just flat don't trust people (perhaps?? and that includes myself)...ah, thinking out loud on my blog.  Good times.

It's a balance between wisdom and courage.

Now, for various reasons, I'm really wondering where that line is.  How do you trust others when you don't trust yourself?  I really don't know where to go from here.

Life in Aussie-land

I know you're all expecting a rundown on how life in Perth is going.  However, a reminder that Perth has a zoo and the Perth Royal Show (American translation:  county fair) has gotten me thinking about animals.  I have no idea why but I want to introduce you to a new favorite animal that I've met here in Australia...the Lorikeet. I've never seen so many colors on one animal before.  It's amazing. Love love love them!

Anyway, life here is good for the most part.  I need to find a church and some friends outside of baseball if only to vary the conversation a bit.  I'm settling into the routine, which is a bit too routine for me so I need to find a way to mix it up.  A bit hard when you work 6 days a week.  I am coaching Little League and loving it.  I may end up coaching all summer, but probably not playing.  I need some serious shoulder work before I could consider jumping back into play seriously.  I've started running 3 days a week but that hasn't done a thing for my shoulder.

Ok, it's short and sweet.  And I wrote it a month ago.  I'm pathetic.  I know.