Salt Lake City is a great place. Beautifully surrounded by this huge mountain range. I woke up every morning to sunshine and mountains so close it looked like a 10 minute drive and you were there. It might sound funny but I had some of the greatest quiet times in the shadow of those mountains in a city dominated by the Mormon presence. I spent 4 days with one of my best friends, someone who I see once every 3 years on average (stupid schedules....). I got to help his fiancée and family prepare for his wedding, from making labels to picking up the tuxes with the guys to meeting the extensive family...some of whom are a bit on the crazy side (I have stories and I was only there for 4 days). I got to meet his other best friend, Jason, and another friend, Aaron, who came into town. I got to know his fiancée and talk t
o her. Crissy is a great girl, a lucky girl. She has a great husband who is one of the best people I know.I sat in the audience watching this traditional Catholic service. I watched the grandparents participate. I watched the love radiating from them for their grandson. And part of me ached. I don't have that family dynamic. My grandparents, my half sisters, my aunts, uncles, cousins and everyone else related to me have made choices, choices that have estranged them from my immediate family. And I know that my parents have made choices in this, too. I'm not blaming anyone or angry at anyone. Actually, who am I kidding, there are people I blame and I am a bit frustrated. I do have to be honest that watching Brad's wedding with his grandparents made me realize that that part won't be in my future wedding, at least not on my side. I have a couple older cousins and an aunt who are great and wonder how I'm doing but I have to be honest that I envy the people who grew up hanging out with cousins, who play on their high school sports teams with their cousins, who go over to their aunt's house to hang out (completely on their own volition). Nothing I can do, not to say I haven't tried. But there are choices I can't make for other people and there are hurts that real. My family is what it is.
As I said before, I'm not angry or even despairing over what I don't have. I do know that I missed out on some immense wisdom and stories of the past and to opportunity to get to know relatives. However, I'm where I should be with what I should have. I have a God who watches over me and loves me in ways I can't even describe or probably even know about. I trust Him and his choices in my life.
Sorry for the little rant there. The great thing is that this is my blog and I can say what I want and share what I really feel!! hehe. Thanks for reading.
Trip #1...check.
Trips #2-7...coming soon.
1 comment:
Jaymie,
You are truly one in a million and a great friend. This was a great blog and this was only the 1st! We are not only happy but felt very honored to have you be a part of our wedding. From your kind words I can't say that I know how you are feeling, but I can say this make the most of what you have. Don't dwell on what you don't have or wish you had, but rather enjoy what has been presented to you. I know it is easier said then done. You are a great gal that everybody can relate to, talk to, and more importantly enjoy being around and I know I am not the first to say this. You have a lot going for you and more importantly you have a lot of people who enjoy being around you and would be there for you when you are in need. One of many comments to come great blog.
Take care,
Brad
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