It's Not All Happy

There's a level where the fact that my first post of 2010 is gloomy that is funny. A slight smile and snicker.

But overall, it's mainly an ache.

I have no idea where this came from......I kind of feel sideswiped or tackled from behind. Maybe it came from the tv show I just watched in which someone was talking about fighting for the other. And these feelings came out of nowhere.


I wish there was a way to share this without feeling pathetic.....

..................or feeling like you're judging me.

Sorry but that's how I feel.

I wouldn't post this at all but I know this side of me doesn't get shared that often. I know that.


But, to be honest, it's because you don't ask. You don't spend the time.

Why would I share these feelings with you if you haven't even taken the time to figure out my current favorite beverage or latest discovery?

Sorry to sound cruel or bitter but, again, just sharing how I feel.

......which right now is a bit lonely.





Why do I feel like I'm fighting for so many.....and like no one is fighting for me? No, I can't do this alone. Yes, I hurt. Yes, I need someone holding me accountable, someone to have the courage to call me on stuff. To have the courage to look past the front and see the rest....I need someone else to initiate, someone else to ...........

.....is it too much to ask? Is it a dream that is only reality on tv?






Melancholy, over dramatic. Call it what you wish. I call it honest.