A Long Overdue Update from the USofA

It's interesting trying to write a blog update after slacking for so many months.  First, I apologize.  Greatly.  All 3 of you out there are probably trying to figure out what country I'm in and what my next step is.  Even Facebook won't answer all of those questions.  Second, I feel like I'm unbelievably behind in life right now so this will be brief.

So, I'm back in the good ol' USofA living in Spokane with my parents (really, my mom as my dad works on the other side of the state).  I came home with tonsillitis that the plane rides compacted into a sinus infection that refused to let go.  I think I'm 100% better but still find myself tired and I don't know if that's because my schedule is weird or if I'm still recovering from jet lag.  I can't answer any questions regarding which way the jet lag was worse on as I came home massively sick and so I was sleeping all the time anyway.

My few couple weeks home were spent at a Mariners game with my dad, driving across the state multiple times, spending a couple days in Seattle with an Aussie friend, being a part of a beautiful wedding (congrats Lindy & Cody!), and a lot of sleep.  Which reminds me of slight irk of mine, so I apologize for this brief soap box moment.  Why do we feel the need to comment how much more tired we are than others?  I  mention I'm tired for the couple weeks after I get back and even good friends of mine comment on what's going on in their lives and why they're exhausted.  It's like it's a game--except whomever has the most points probably dies first.  ha.  Arg!  We all have our own lives and I don't need to compare yours to mine or vice versa.  Appreciate that the person is telling you about their life and refuse to compare it to yours unless specifically asked.

Whew.  I'm done.  Anyway, I'm back in Spokane and have two separate forms of income.  I'm umpiring for volleyball and I'm working (again) for the NWAACC as their Sports Information Assistant.  Soon I'll be enrolled in school full-time and the goal is to get degrees done in the next year (part of the reason I'm "hiding" out in Spokane away from most people I know and hang out with).  That includes my goal of shoving 16-week classes into 10 weeks :)   Then we'll see where work and life takes me after that.  I love the Northwest but don't think I can do the rain and grey ridiculousness of the west side anymore.  I became pretty attached to the sun while I was gone (I'm now ok with 95-110 degree weather).  However, work is work and you have to go where it is offered so we will see.  The Lord knows what the plan is and I'm going to trust him.  I'm had a pretty cool life so far doing that so far.  :)

I keep getting asked where the accent is and apparently it comes out if you really pay attention.  I've been told I enunciate words differently and some of my vowels are now pretty long.  I can also turn it on and apologize in advance for crazy cards with lots of Aussie lingo.  I absolutely LOVED Australia and honestly would probably head back in a heartbeat if the opportunity arose.  However, I love the States, too, so I wouldn't stay for life.  I do miss the friends I made there and cannot wait for them to travel this way to visit.

Anyway, as I said before, I feel behind in life so I need to get moving.  Take care!

Soap Box of an Update

Hey all.

I realized that you all back home have no idea what I’m doing here in Australia and b/c I love y’all you should.  J  Just prep yourself.  This gets a little philosophical. And edgy perhaps.  lol

How am I?  I’m loving the beach.  Loving living close to it and having the ability to drive 20 minutes and be there.  I’m loving the hot weather over the Washington rain and coldness.  I love you all and miss you but I also am working on a darn good tan right now.  ;)  Oregon beaches are just not the same.  Of course, they are awesome for their own reason but that reason doesn’t include warmth.  Sorry to rub it in. 

I’ve decided I’m staying here until at least July.  There so much I haven’t done yet and how often do you really get to live in Australia?!  I want to go camping down south and go up north.  Don’t worry…. I’m not looking at this for life.  I do miss home.  I do want to go back and start the college world athletic thing.  Right now, though,  this is so good.  I don’t feel a pull to go back quite yet b/c of the friends I’ve made here.  I want to have some fun and play and working solely to do that.  That is really good for me right now.  A slower lifestyle.  Less stress overall.  Just be and play.    

Part of me feels bad b/c I should be doing this or that.  Then there’s the internal seizing up accompanied by guilt.  I saw something the other day that says nothing messes up our reality more than the picture in our head that says this is how it should be.  You can add to that that nothing messes up your life more than the undue pressure we put on ourselves to make our life something like what everyone expects it to me.  Follow that?  Yeah exactly.  We have this picture in our head we’ve created based on the pressures we feel from everyone else on how life is or should be.  Never mind that people often say many things that they don’t themselves live but think you should.

Anyway, off the soap box.  That point is what I’m living right now---there’s no picture that I’m trying to mold my life to.  I’m living what I feel and for those of you who know me, you know that I don’t often know what I’m feeling at my one moment nor can I even begin to express it.  Luckily I’ve had friends here who have guided me in that process.  I’ve been caught up in the ‘I should’ for longer than I’d like to admit.  Especially for someone who has preached individuality and strength of independence, I cared more about how I fit and what people thought or expected than I knew or understood.

Right now, I feel like staying so I’m going to.  Easy as that.

I’m going to find a job.  Probably work a bunch of temp work.  Will that go great on my resume (aka CV here)? Eh, does it matter right now?  I’ll put it on there and work a bunch of jobs.  When I get back, when asked I’ll say “You know what?  I was in a place where I had worked so hard for so long in such an emotional job.  I needed to be in a place away from everything else and just be and work and redefine who I was and what I am and just really decompress and reset boundaries.”    

That's one thing I've learned since I've been here   I suck at setting boundaries and have been burned by it.  Live and learn, right?

So that’s I’m doing and we’ll see how this goes.  And I don’t care if people agree or not with any part of that. 

J